Get Over Yourself, Mr. Pink

amy-schumer-funny-girl

Huffington Post – After finishing a recent meal at Long Island restaurant Peter’s Clam Bar, comedian Amy Schumer left her server a $500 tip on the $49 bill, as first reported by The New York Post.

 That equates to more than a 1,000 percent tip — a lavish reward far beyond the customary 20 percent.

 The restaurant’s manager told The Huffington Post that the star of “Inside Amy Schumer” ordered “a cup of soup and a couple of appetizers” when she dined a couple of weekends ago. The soup may have been top notch, but apparently it wasn’t the only factor that influenced the funny lady to such generosity. The Post reported Monday that Schumer and her server, Ryan, shared an “engaging, animated conversation” during which she learned he was a college student working two jobs to pay for school.

 Perhaps she felt connected to him on a more personal level: Before making it big, the Long Island native waited tables and tended bar in New York City in between auditions.

The next time some reality tv-watching rube tells you it’s hard being a celebrity make sure to counter with this random act of kindness.

Full disclosure: I love Amy Schumer. I don’t understand how anyone doesn’t love Amy Schumer, and by “anyone” I mean the unsilent majority of men who insist she isn’t funny and is fat and ugly and should kill herself.

But Amy Schumer is another matter.

This is about tipping and how easy it is to use it to your advantage if you’re a celebrity.

Even if you’re the biggest piece of shit going, this is all you have to do. Overtip. You can literally buy goodwill.

This story went viral and all it cost Amy Schumer was $500. Not a bad return on her investment. Which begs the question: If you were a celebrity, why wouldn’t you do this everywhere you went?

Personally, I’m looking forward to the opportunity. A few months from now, after the bidding war between Simmons and Portnoy has a winner, this will be me:

Celebrities aside, the most surprising thing I learned in my distinguished bartending career—and this is saying something since it’s a long ass list—is how insanely generous regular people are when it comes to tipping. Nearly everyone overtips. Conservatively, I’d say 90% of people tip more than 20%.

Now I know what you’re thinking.

You’re thinking that can’t be right. You’re thinking I only made killer tips because I obviously poured smooth draughts and mixed cheek-puckering cocktails while looking sexy as fuck behind the bar.

And I can’t argue with you. All of those things are entirely true.

However, it doesn’t explain such an overwhelming ratio of generosity. I’ve had this conversation with countless bartenders near and far and the verdict is unanimous: People are kind.

So please, keep this is mind next time you’re trying to calculate 12.5% of your tab. Celebrity or not, you’re writing your story.

Always overtip.

It’s only a few extra bucks, and we both know you’d probably just waste them buying some dumb shit on Amazon.

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