Bread Always Falls On The Buttered Side

Don’t let me bring you down, but it’s Monday and it’s cold and rainy and you’re likely already miserable.

If that’s the case, let’s discuss this:

Before we get started, let’s break things down Linda Ellerbee style:

Who: Smash Mouth singer Steve Harwell

What: Had a meltdown during a performance

Where: The Taste of Fort Collins street festival in Fort Collins, Colorado

When: June 14, 2015

Why: Some attendees of the festival were (obviously) given loaves of bread as party favors and felt it necessary to throw said loaves at Harwell. Harwell, unable to rise above it, responded by throwing profanities at the audience, going so far as to threaten bodily harm before he was restrained by security.

NOW, everyone is using Harwell’s outburst as an opportunity to take a collective shit on him and his band. And why not? Fruit doesn’t hang much lower than a Smash Mouth concert in 2015.

However, I’m giving Harwell a pass on this and here’s why: In 2001, his six-month-old son, Presley Scott Harwell, died from acute lymphatic leukemia.

Here’s Harwell in a 2002 interview with USA Today:

“After Presley crashed the first time, it took them so long to get him back that his brain swelled,” says Harwell. “We knew we weren’t going to get him back. His eyes weren’t dilating and we knew things were taking a turn for the worse. It just got to the point to where we didn’t want to keep putting him through all that. Michele and I decided to take him off of the machines. The little guy fought as hard as he could.”

Listen, I don’t care if it happened 14 years ago, there’s no getting over something like that. This world can be a supremely fucked up place and there’s no better example of that than a man watching his six-month-old son die.

Steve Harwell owes an apology to no one for his tirade. Try having some empathy for once in your life. If anything, we should be the ones apologizing to him.

Alright, that’s enough holier-than-thou schtick for one post. Here are some snarky observations in an attempt to restore my cred:

Maybe I’m hearing things, but at 0:52 it sounds like a backing vocal track starts. Round of applause for the Johnny-on-the-spot sound tech who helped Smash Mouth avoid a lip-synching controversy by cutting it. Can you imagine how big THAT story would have been?!

Seriously, Steve Harwell? Little pussy bitches? That’s all you got? No wonder your band records so many covers. It’s bad enough you’re running your mouth instead of doing anything about it—at least write some quality material for next time.

On a lighter note, here’s how Steve Harwell should have reacted:

(Watch this. The whole thing. All 3 minutes and 37 seconds. We both know you have nothing better to do.)

My love of Pearl Jam aside, that. is. how. it’s. done.

(How would Ed’s “Somebody throw up a gun so I can shoot you all!” remark at 2:44 play in today’s 24-hour news cycle? It’s a clickbaiter’s wet dream: “Rock Star Threatens Audience With Mass Murder!” This is the world we live in.)

((No, but seriously, if you can watch that clip and still hate Eddie Vedder there’s no fucking hope for you.))

(((You’re probably the kind of person who would throw bread at someone on stage.)))

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